Intro
I wrote this poem while sitting alone in my dark room, letting the Friday night lights bleed through the curtains as my mind wandered. Heavily inspired by J. Cole’s Friday Night Lights mixtape, I decided to open the piece by weaving in many of the track titles — Too Deep for the Intro, Before I’m Gone, Back to the Topic, You Got It, Enchanted, In the Morning, Home For The Holidays, and others — because they perfectly mirror the internal chaos I was feeling that night.
The poem follows me as I sit with my colliding thoughts. One moment I’m thinking about the girl I like and how she turns my heart to ice with her pleasurable plights. The next, I’m lost in the purple lights, enchanted by the tropics, watching them slowly fade as the sun begins to rise. As morning comes, the real conflict hits me: God wants me to befriend my divine calling, but I’d rather be far from home this holiday. My pride leans in close and whispers “Farewell” to that spiritual path. Instead, I choose the hedonistic sunrays and the capitalistic grind where I only want to prevail.
This piece is deeply personal. It’s about the tension between who I feel I’m supposed to be and who I actually want to become. It’s about desire, temptation, pride, and the pull between faith and freedom. Writing it felt like having a honest conversation with myself under those Friday night lights — raw, conflicted, and unfiltered.
Outro
As the purple lights finally fade and the morning sun takes over, I’m left sitting with the same colliding thoughts I started with. God still calls, my pride still whispers “Farewell,” and the hedonistic sunrays keep pulling me toward the life I want to build. Whether I embrace my divine calling or chase success in this capitalistic world, one thing remains clear — I’m still learning how to sit alone with my thoughts. This poem is my honest snapshot of that tension. Inspired by J. Cole’s Friday Night Lights, it captures the late nights, the temptations, the pride, and the quiet battles we all fight when the lights dim and no one else is watching.
Spiritual Takeaway
Writing “Alone with My Thoughts” forced me to confront a truth I can no longer ignore: I am caught in a real spiritual tug-of-war. God is gently calling me to befriend my divine calling — to walk in purpose, discipline, and alignment with something greater than myself. Yet my pride, my desires, and the shine of this capitalistic world keep whispering “Farewell.” The purple lights, the hedonistic sunrays, and the intoxicating pull of the girl I like all feel more immediate and pleasurable than the quiet work of spiritual growth.This poem is my honest confession that I’m choosing temporary pleasure and worldly ambition over divine alignment right now. And while that choice feels freeing in the moment, I know it comes with a cost. J. Cole’s Friday Night Lights taught me that these late-night reflections often reveal the gap between who we are and who we’re meant to become.
Poem Fragment
LifeandTimelessart 